|
Post by Dina Doo on Oct 5, 2012 11:11:04 GMT -8
It was something he had seen fit to do, something he wanted to do. Though, it hurt Sam to go behind his brothers' back. He knew Scott and Elijah would not be pleased, Sam knew there was no one that would be pleased in finding out what he was doing, and that was why Sam had decided that he wouldn't tell anyone.
He would, though, need someone to help him deliver the letter, someone he could talk to so he didn't feel as guilty about lying to his brothers. Now, though, his latest letter was being sent out, and the receiver should be his father.
~
Dear Edmund,
I know I am the last person you would ever expect to receive a letter from and I know I am the last person you would ever expect to hear from again. I won't mention our recent encounters since we both know of them. Last time though, Elliot mentioned that we read your journals and he would be right; we did read them. I once made you the monster in the adventure games, the evil beast that meant game over. Now, I've come to understand you better. You aren't a bad person. You were just lost, scared, and sad you had lost the one person that helped you become the loving father I remember. Ana was a wonderful person from what I remember.
I miss being a family. I miss those times when we would all nap together. I miss the times when everyone was smiling. I want more than anything to be that family again. It hurts knowing I am the only one who will ever think this.
You did horrible things to them but I'm not sure if they know how bad I had it. It's something I've pushed out of my mind till now but I won't tell you. You know and it hurt. It's haunting but I'm not trying to remind you of your mistakes. I just wanted to tell you something.
I forgive you.
Whether or not you respond or even read this letter, I just wanted you to know that you have a son who still thinks of you as that loving father from so long ago and that, maybe, we can continue to have contact with one another.
After all, tape and glue can fix things that are broken but it takes time too.
Sincerely, Sam.
|
|
|
Post by clouds just clouds on Oct 5, 2012 13:30:35 GMT -8
The letter that he had received shocked him, Edmund. Who could be sending him a letter, and from a bat? His mind went back to Kenneth and he looked to the ground, his mouth pressing in a thin line as his fingers held the letter. His golden eyes flickered up to the bat who stayed on its perch. "So you're just going to stay there till I write something back?" The bat gave a nod, and Edmund couldn't help but shiver. No, he didn't want an answer from a creature. He knew now that who ever was on the other end of this bat watched him carefully. Sliding out a chair, Edmund sat himself down, fingering the tip of the envelope then slowly opening it. This hand writing, whose? His eyes flickered down to the end of it and that was when shock spurt through him. What? Closing his eyes, he remembered all those things he did, and he pressed a hand to his mouth to stop the tears. What? Why? Is this a hate letter...? Is this telling me I killed Elijah?His hands started to shake, but his eyes read the first couple lines, and the shaking got worse. Edmund wasn't even sure if he could read it all. Swallowing down the frightened child part of him and reading the rest of the letter. ' I forgive you.' Edmund closed his eyes, resting his head in his hand as the tears ran down his cheeks and splattered onto the paper. It was hard to breath. Forgive him? A monster like him? Wiping away the tears with one swipe of a hand, he read the end, couldn't help the weak smile that lifted his lips at the end. Leaning back in the chair, he looked up at the ceiling, forcing himself to swallow. "Continue contact...?" His eyes flickered over to the bat who watched him hauntingly. Swallowing, he stood and tore a piece from his journal, sitting down with a hard surface in front of him. He held a pen in his hand; his hand shaking. Taking a deep breath, he cleared his mind and started writing. Dear Samuel Thomas Daniels,
It took your mother a couple of days to figure out that one. STD. You've figured that out, right? When I suggested it, when you two were born, she--please excuse my hand writing. I swear that it is usually better than this, for some particular reason I can't stop shaking... She had liked the names. Thomas and Tyler. She wouldn't talk to me the whole day when she figured it, but then the day after she sat up that night and burst into laughter. I've never seen someone laugh as much as her.
I still remember when you were born. I was angry with Ana. I was not ready for children, but what could I do? Nothing. I was frightened, you two were so tiny, so frail--and had my black hair. And eyes. I truly wished you looked more like her, she was beautiful. When she slept, after you two were born, I held you two, watching you sleep in my arms. I remember it clearly, because I like to remember the best of times. And I will not make things curt, because surely if you can remember that far back, Samuel, who will know that I cried a lot. And I cried when I held you two, because you were so small, so frail. If you read my journals you would know why I dislike children. I thought that you guys would of deserved a better father than me.
Slowly, I watched you two grow up; twins. I missed--excuse me. I still miss my brother. Keep Scott close to you, alright Sam? I mean it. Nothing is like losing a brother... or... you know the rest. Before I knew it, there was nothing else in the world that could be more beautiful. You two, sitting with your mother. These memories are ones I hold dear to.
Are you shocked, Samuel? That I am writing back? Saying all these things?
I will tell you. It has always been much easier for me to write things out. My brother use to be there for me, tell everyone what I was thinking, feeling. Even if I didn't even act like I was sad, my brother knew to comfort me. I'm not that much of an expressive person; especially over these last few years.
I regret, Sam.
I regret...
I don't think I deserve your forgiveness.
I turned into something worse than my own father, I should of learned when... when I just copied him. But worse.
I divulged myself into alcohol to forget all of those sweet memories. I blamed a two year old, when it was more of my fault.
I realized all of this as I was dying on Rex. I laid there, waiting for my soul to be eaten, and I asked myself, "Do you know what you have done?" I regret. When I am in my clear mind, when I take a step back from this protective shell that I have built for myself, I see what I had become. What I am--was--is--what ever tense you would like to put it in.
A monster.
I will not lie; I am a little bit of a cry baby. I always have been. Though, I don't show much people of my side. Ana brought out who I really was. A shy man who was lost in his own grief. I miss so many things, and I have messed up. I fell into grief and couldn't dig myself out.
I should of written journals about it, I should of written it all out to get it out of my head. I could not.
I ran away from it.
But recently, I've forced myself to face it. I forced myself to sit down and write down every little detail of the worst day of my life. The absolute worst day of my life. Perhaps it wasn't even that who helped me heal. I met two very peculiar brothers, Sam. Very peculiar. Very... very...
They're so fucking weird.
Excuse my language--they are. One is a tomato lover, and he swears as much as I do, actually no. Much, much worse. Yet, he has trouble with himself, I can see this. His self confidence is low, and he always puts his little brother before him, always says his little brother is better at everything than him. And then, there is his little brother.
Please, Dragon Gods, help this guy... Feliciano is his name. I swear to you, he could be a house wife. He could. He sings all the time in this weird language of theirs, always seemingly happy, though people scare him, he's a complete wimp and he cries all the time if he is hit or scolded. But I think he has gotten use to me. He's retarded. Stupid people can easily annoyi me--and he's very stupid. A fruit head. Dropped on the head way too many times... At first, I stayed with them for hire, to make sure that they were safe; mostly Feliciano. Then the group grew a bit, I am sharing a house hold with a prostitute. Former. Former prostitute and I'm working to keep it that way. His name is Cyril and he is sixteen. And he already has a daughter. Two years old.
No no, I've not bought his services--never. Never. No no no no no no no.
Never.
No.
...
They were all use to a unhappy people, I guess. Each of them had their own way of healing me, and I wouldn't say the wound is healed, but it's getting there. For sure I will always have a scar. I started writing a journal one day; seeing as Romano, the oldest of the brothers, banned me from drinking alcohol. It was very hard to stop drinking so much...
And, because I was banned from alcohol, I needed a new output. I bought a journal, and a new pen, and wrote out the worst day of my life.
I'm sorry, Samuel.
But... please, tell me, Scott, he-- hates me, I know that. He shot me. Is he alright? I'm sorry... I can keep writing that again and again. It wasn't Rex's fault, I should of called him off. I never should of gone and found all of you. Then Elijah. Please, please tell me he is alive? Is he? It's haunting my mind and I deserve it, is he alive? I wouldn't forgive myself if I killed my own son..
Even before, as I had raised my gun to him, convinced myself it was all his fault I could never shoot him. I rarely miss my target. I was never aiming for his lungs. I was aiming for his arm, or something. But--
Enough, no more 'buts' and 'should of's', I am done.
Over the last twenty years, I don't remember much. All of it is a haze, but I do know what I've done. And I'm sorry, I scarred you. And Scott, and Elijah. All of you.
Nothing is going to change those facts.
Sam?
You don't have to force yourself to write to me.
It makes me happy you did. Though, I am unsure of what to say--as I said I am quite shy. So, I guess, if you write back, are you alright? How are things fairing for you? Kenneth, I understand that was his name, you're traveling with him? That's a big group. Are you loved, Sam? Are you happy? I hope you are, because you deserve to be loved and you deserve to be happy. All of you do.
Sincerely, Edmund P.S. Stay out of danger, please.
P.S.S. I can't believe you still remember that... The bones... That was so stupid--what I said. And you wanted to see them tape your bones back together too... [/i]
|
|
|
Post by Dina Doo on Oct 5, 2012 17:49:10 GMT -8
Sam had never expected to get a reply. In fact, it made Sam very happy. Hearing from his father made him very happy. Now, the letter itself made Sam happy. There were parts that made him smile, parts that made his eyes water, and parts that made him laugh. The parts that made him laugh were the ones about Feli, Romano, and Cyril. With enthusiasm, Sam wrote and sent out his second letter. Dear Edmund,
Please, rest assured. Scott is, in a sense, getting better. It took a few days but we were all able to bring our brother back. Elijah is safe and sound as well. He suffered from some sickness due to the wound but he was well taken care of with the help of Elias and Elliot?
Do you want to hear more about them? The others?
Did you know Scott graduated early? He became a doctor. Scott has helped lots of people and he takes plenty of care of us. He is a superhero, and he is a doctor who travels around because he said he doesn't like constricting white walls so we traveled around.
We recently ran into Elliot and Elias again and we are traveling together. Elliot isn't the brightest... But he really knows how to write. He wrote a book before and I really liked it. I can send you a copy sometime, if you want to read it that is. Elliot is working on another project about us. I will make you a copy and sent that one to you. I think you'll like the idea.
Elias is as reserved as he was when he was a baby. He said he never really figured out what he wanted to do. I think he's like me; he likes to follow his big brother around. Poor littler brother broke his arm when he was younger and was too scared to get it fixed. He broke it again a bit ago, and Scotty had to amputate it completely.. It doesn't seem like it, but I still think it bothers him.
If I was forcing myself to write this letter then I wouldn't have poured my heart out, telling you about everyone and saying I forgive you. Please, I wasn't lying. And, I'm happy, very happy we're all together again. I was even happier to get your letter.
And yes, I will always remember that~ Too bad they don't really tape your bones together..
Are you happy, Edmund?
Sincerely, Sam P.S. I will stay safe, I promise. But, will you stay out of danger too? Please? I don't want to lose another parent..
P.S.S. Can you tell me more about Ana? [/i]
|
|
|
Post by clouds just clouds on Oct 5, 2012 23:48:16 GMT -8
Time had passed, and Edmund was afraid he wasn't going to get another letter. But then the peculiar bat came with the letter, and Edmund eagerly read his son's letter, and he smiled, just a bit at its contents. Though, the last parts made his heart clench a bit. Getting a piece of paper and an actual envelope this time, Edmund began to write his response. Dear Sam,
Actually, yes. I did know about Scott, Sam. In fact, I went to both his high school graduation and his college graduation. I am proud, of him. And you, Sam, for sticking close to your brother. You don't have to be anything to be great. Or, 'awesome' as Romano puts it, I guess. Elliot wrote a book?
Oh Dragon Gods...
His brain level matches Ana's. Not that Ana was stupid or anything, but she certainly had her blonde moments. Though, I would appreciate it, if you sent me a copy of the book he has written and the one he is writing. It sounds interesting. If you say that I will like it. Do you know my favorite flavor of ice cream?
Me neither.
I don't have ice cream too often, but Ana had be try a sherbet once. How about you, Sam? What is your favorite flavor?
Elias...
He was my favorite out of the three. Favorite's a blunt way to put it, a wrong way. More like, I could relate to him the best. Only because he was so reserved. Comparing him to me would probably be a terrible thing, but I would say he is more like the younger Edmund Daniels. Reserved. Though, I'm am very sorry he ever had to go through anything like that. I couldn't imagine losing an arm. I won't think about it. On Scott's side too, it must of been terrible to have to amputate his own brother's arm.
And you said 'littler brother.'
Cute.
So, there is Scott, big brother, right? Then little brother, Elliot, then littler brother, Elias, and littlest Elijah. Even if he is the tallest. Peculiar if you think about it... so what does Elliot call you and Scott then? Is Scott just Biggest brother? I think that would be confusing. If I had more than one brother my brain might of imploded.
For Elias? I don't know what to do. I'm kind of out of practice when it comes to advice. Much less anything fatherly. On his own though, Elias will have to come to realize that even if he lost his arm, it doesn't mean that he has lost his life. There are still many things he can do out there, even if he has to have help with opening a jar, or anything like it. He probably feels a bit useless, left out. But then again, I don't really know how any of you act of late. I can only remember what you were like.
Am I happy, you ask?
I was more of hoping to avoid answering this. But unfortunately, pen can't be erased.
Ana was the sun in my sky, the moon in my night, something bright that lit up the darkness. She made me happy, I was never happy after my father died. Except for when she came around. Now that I think about it, I guess it could be a bit embarrassing that you've read my journals. I haven't read them for a while, I had tucked them all away because I didn't have to heart to throw them away. Nor read through them. Oh well, I was younger than, and embarrassing things rarely effect me anymore.
The point I am trying to make is that, it is hard to define 'happiness' for me. I mean, I am glad that you are writing back. I guess you could say it makes me happy, brightens me up a bit to receive your letters. But I probably won't be 'happy' for a long time, Sam. It is still hard for me to say that my brother is gone. I can't even said that he--you know.
I can't.
For Ana it's worse.
A part of me is frightened of a curse I might have, that everyone who gets close to me will die. And I guess you could say 'But if you walk out the door you could get hit by a car.' But, I guess after you've been hit by a car three times in your life, it gets a little harder to walk out that front door.
Stay out of danger?
Sam.
I'm a hitman.
Speaking of which, are you in need of any money? Ana's side of the family was rich, so was mine, so we have no shortage on money. Not to mention over the years I've acquired jobs and not spent all the money, putting them away.
Actually, now that I think out it, I rarely am taking jobs now. I'm working on keeping Feli safe, along with Cyril and Xan. The most danger I run into in a day is Lovino holding up scissors and threatening to cut my hair because it is over grown. Really, I don't get the point of cutting hair so often--such a bother. But he likes to call me "Pony-tail bastard" when I don't trim my hair. Personally, it's fun to grow out my hair and piss Lovino off.
You want to know more about Ana, Sam?
I guess if I were to chat this off to anyone, you would be one of the people who would like it the most.
She was, and still is in my mind, the most beautiful woman I have ever ran into. I swear that I could see right through her eyes, right into her heart. Ana was quirky, I guess. Self-conscious about some things, completely confident in others. Baking was her favorite, even if her mother disliked it.
Oh how Ana liked to tease me! There wasn't a day when I was with her that she didn't make me blush. The things she says are usually subtle, and simple things too that I would scoff at if other people say. She had so much love to give though, and she gave it all to all of you, and me.
Ana was a wonderful fantastic person who could of truly changed the word if she wanted.
You are a lot like her, Sam. At least you seem like it through these letters, reaching out to me. Elliot too. It frightens me a bit, but I guess Elijah is a lot like me. That is bad, maybe Scott too. Though, I'm sure most of you have a side of Ana, and that is the best trait someone could ever have.
In my opinion, at least.
I still love her.
When I was dying, before, I was ready to see her again. Ready for her to come to me, and wrap her arms around me and tell me that it was okay, that she is right there.
But I would never kill myself. I will die when I die, no need to induce it.
Ana always disliked that about me, she said I was a subtle jokester that didn't care if I died. But that is it. I am still terrified of dying, I can act all brave, saying it will happen when it does, even getting back to Ana sounds nice, but it terrifies me. Always have, always will.
And pink fuzzy socks. They terrify me too.
Why would anyone ever wear pink fuzzy socks, really?
I'm not just talking about pink socks that are soft and warm, I'm talking about the ones with the pompoms on them. No, I wouldn't squeal and run away in fear. But all respect I had for that person would drop to zero.
Ana use to love wearing my shirts, with my socks. She said they kept her warm. One day, she dressed you and Scott up in my dress shirt and socks... that was funny.
Ana was the type of person where once she had an idea, she would not stop till the idea was completely shot down or proven true. She had an idea that I was someone else than who I appeared to be, she had an idea that she wanted kids, and she had an idea that she truly could fly if she believed in it as hard as she could.
Ana was a dreamer.
She was every single good part about me that I don't have. I still don't understand how I ever caught her attention. I had asked her once, and she turned, looking up at me with those large, clear eyes of hers and she said, "Because, silly Eddy, you're you!" Still confuses me. Still does.
I could go on and on about Ana, but I'm running out of paper and night time. I have to sleep before I walk around like the walking dead tomorrow.
I'm not sure if you remember, or even know, but I use to check on you guys every night, just to make sure you were breathing. I couldn't fall asleep unless I had done that. Sincerely, Edmund. [/blockquote][/i]
|
|
|
Post by Dina Doo on Oct 6, 2012 4:37:27 GMT -8
When Sam read the part about the pink socks, he giggled and considered buying a pair and sending it to his father. Maybe, if there was any chance he could, then Sam purchased a copy of Elliot's book and maybe bought a small, light package but wondered if the bat would be able to carry it. Then Sam had tried to pull Kaleb into a hug, thanking him for helping him. He then brought up the topic of cell phones. Dear Edmund,
Please, you don't have to send us money. I don't like taking money from someone else who worked hard to get it. We receive plenty of care and money from Kenneth, though Scott really likes to make his own money..
And no no no no. Scott, to me, is just Scotty. To Elliot, Scott is biggest brother and I'm either big or bigger brother. To Elias, Scott is just Scott and I'm Sammy. And Elijah..
When we first ran into him, we thought he was a lot like you. Not the good you I'm writing to that makes lying worth while, but the bad Edmund. He was very cold, distant, and harsh. Nothing would stop him from pulling his guns and shooting. We're still working with him but I can tell you there's been a change. He's still angry, I guess, but he hasn't drawn his guns for any reason in some time.
I wish you were happier. I wish littlest brother was happier. Like I said in my first letter, I just want to be a family again. I wish I could cook something for you sometime. My cooking has really improved but I don't cook for our group much. A few of them are ketsukis.
Our group is a lot like a high school, Edmund, or at least that's what Elias told me. I think it's funny. Everyone stays close to the select few they know. We've been through a lot together but I'm pretty sure there's still some who don't even know all of our names~
Hey Edmund? I'm glad you're with people you can help. I'm glad you've found people you can protect, especially if these people are helping you too. It makes me happy.
Hey Edmund?
Can I call you?
Sincerely, Sam P.S. My number is XXX-XXX-XXXX [/i] (if Sam wasn't able to get a phone (LOL an iPhone XDD) then ignore the last part.)
|
|
|
Post by clouds just clouds on Oct 6, 2012 8:47:56 GMT -8
Kaleb probably had hugged Sam back, and then probably asked for money from Kenneth, buying a phone for Sam. (Iwasthinking,dependingonwhenSamstartedsendingEdmundletters,thatmaybeKalebcangivethephonetoSaminthethreadorsomething.) When Elijah read the letter, he was worried. His brow furrowed, but lessened a bit when he saw Elijah was getting better. That... that is my fault too. A sigh filled him, and he was thinking about how to respond when his whole mind cleared. ' Can I call you.' Shock spilled out over Edmund. Talk to Sam? When is the last time Edmund had spoken to Sam? Without yelling at him, screaming at him or frightening him? Did Edmund really deserve this? He didn't think he did. His letter was simple, there was no "Dear"s or "Sincerely,"s. Just as a simple 'Okay.' And his number written in the exact middle of the letter. (Sorryforshortpost;~
|
|
|
Post by Dina Doo on Oct 6, 2012 10:29:45 GMT -8
When Sam received his phone, he probably hugged Kaleb once again and made a note that he would one day repay Kaleb and Kenneth for being so helpful and kind. He stood outside now and stared down at the phone uncertainly, his father's number already typed it. Yes, he was a bit nervous but this was still something he wanted to do; something Sam would continue to lie about and hide from his brothers. With a deep breath, Sam pressed the call button and put the phone to his ear, waiting now, thinking of what he could say.
|
|
|
Post by clouds just clouds on Oct 6, 2012 10:34:59 GMT -8
Quietly, with a blanket, Kaleb had followed Sam outside. He carefully sat down beside Sam, wrapping the blanket around Sam then himself. Then he went to wrap an arm around Sam, smiling to him softly, encouragingly. With his other hand, he went to take Sam's free hand and squeeze it lightly, before looking away.
Oh yes, Edmund's phone began to ring and he stared at the ID. He had memorized Sam's phone number the minute he saw it, and the number is what glowed on his phone. Reaching forward, he picked up the phone and slowly answered it. "Hello?" His voice was more breathy and weak then he meant it. Quietly clearing his throat and leaning against a wall, Edmund said quietly. "This is Edmund." Closing his eyes, Edmund tried to push out all uncertain thoughts, but his knees were weak, and so were his knees.
|
|
|
Post by Dina Doo on Oct 6, 2012 11:05:19 GMT -8
He really felt better when Kaleb stood beside him and he went to lean against the ketsuki. Sam took another breath before he spoke, one of his bright smiles curling onto his face. "Hi Edmund~ It's me, Sammy~ I didn't think you'd pick up when you saw who it was but it's a good thing you did." He held in a giggle.
|
|
|
Post by clouds just clouds on Oct 6, 2012 11:22:01 GMT -8
Edmund's breath caught in his throat and he leaned against the wall, pressing his hand to his mouth as he thought of what to say. Slowly, his cheeks turned a bit pink. What could he say? What did he have the right to say? It was so much easier writing things out then actually saying them. Clearing his throat, he nodded then swore under his breath because Sam couldn't see. "A good thing?" He closed his eyes, begging himself not to saying anything Elliot. "I didn't think you'd really call..." He whispered softly into the phone.
|
|